It's Not Easy Being Green

In an ever evolving quest to be healthier, I've started experimenting with smoothies and juices. I've discovered a few things already. The first is that my blender isn't very good. We've had it for nearly ten years, so that's part of the problem. Somethings just get old and dull over time. Also, it wasn't really made to do smoothies in the first place. As a consequence, all my smoothies thus far require a small amount of mastication on the part of the drinker. That's OK though. When I think of all that went into making them, I'm impressed by the amount of fresh fruits and veggies I'm actually eating! There's a lot of goodness in that glass, even if it looks a bit dubious.

That's the second thing I've learned so far. Looks can be deceiving! That's an understatement when it comes to making and consuming "green smoothies" in particular. Who would think a drink made of banana, blue berries, peaches, cucumber, watermelon, and spinach would be any good? Actually many of the weird combinations I've tried have been very good! I'm looking forward to experimenting with new combinations and seeing how they play out. The other deceptive thing I've discovered is that you need a heck of a lot of oranges to make fresh orange juice! It tastes fantastic but is very labour intensive! Also, we need new orange peeling technology, asap.

I haven't been at it very long, but I plan on sharing anything I find that is interesting and/or tasty. Hopefully both.

All Days Should End Like This

Some days are just good days, no two ways about it. Whatever doubts you had yesterday are banished to the back of your mind along with your increasingly long "to do" list. Everything is put on hold while you live in that perfect moment. It's often a very difficult thing to do. To just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is. It's something more people should consciously try to do; it does wonderful things for your well -being. A friend and I sat in the shade sipping lemonade while our kids played in the pool. They squealed with laughter as they chased each other, pouring buckets of water over each other's head. It was a hot day, but really I don't think they noticed. They were having way too much fun.

Later, while I was cleaning up after dinner, Baby K came in to see what I was up to. I was playing music while I tidied and she danced with a big smile on her face. She loves to dance! Miss. A joined us, and before I knew it, we were all dancing in the kitchen. If anyone looked in, they would have seen us dancing like wolves, the wind, and occasionally Miss A broke out her "cool moves". It was so much fun! In a way, I'm kind of thankful for all those trying times because it makes moments like that so much more rewarding. I didn't realize during those many, many, hours of rocking a colicky baby, that I would be later spinning and dipping a feisty four year old. It would have seemed so very far away, but was totally worth the wait.

...Because It'll Be Even More Ridiculous When I'm Sixty

Do you know how hard it is to find a photo of red heads (or gingers if you must) with coloured streaks in their hair? Damn near impossible! Apparently red heads don't dye their hair. Sometimes I wish I was born a mousy brown so I could dye my hair different ways all the time. But no, I'm a red head and have impossible hair. It's hard to dye and style. I've tried and failed many times. When I was younger I made homemade dyes, which worked in all my friends' hair, but never in mine. I even tried bleaching it and it didn't change one iota. If I braided or put my hair in curlers over night, the waves and curls went flat my lunch. A few times I got a perm out of pure frustration. I looked like a poodle! Even then, the perm turned into frizzy hair within a couple of weeks. Just FYI, don't do something stupid like that a few weeks before your wedding. Trust me, it's a bad decision.

Usually when I get bored of the same old routine, I feel a need to do something to my hair. I don't know why that is exactly; probably because it's the easiest and most visible. Since I have so much trouble styling it, I often go and just get it all chopped off. My husband hates that! I don't know why husbands are always so possessive of their wife's hair. I guess he just doesn't want me to come home with a "mom" haircut. Which frankly, I don't either. Maybe that's why I went to the drugstore yesterday and bought a tube of purple hair dye. It's a total "anti-mom" hair style.

There were lots of different colours, but I chose purple. I have no idea what colour would look best because, as I said, red heads don't seem to dye their hair. I guess we are much too serious a people to be caught up in such silliness! It's really not that daring, it washes out in one wash. Ideally I'd like to find a few different colours that work and have a number of streaks going at the same time. I've tried the purple and I can kinda see it, but my hair is dark enough that the colour is fairly muted. Maybe subtle is a good thing, really.  Yeah, sure, I'm getting a bit old to be doing stuff like this, but I don't feel old. Isn't it better to be silly now than wait until you're a grandparent and embarrass your children with such silliness? Wait, that's not a bad idea! Maybe I'll have two mid-life crisis!

Pranks - Catching Santa In His Web Of Lies

The writing prompt for today is "pranks". What is the best prank you've ever pulled off? At first I thought I wouldn't be able to come up with anything. I don't pull pranks! That's ridonkulous! BUT, the more I thought about it, I came to realize that I've done more than my fair share in my youth. I would have just classified them as something else. So would my family, I'm sure. You say "prank", they say "cruising for a bruising". Potato, potato. OK, that actually doesn't make sense if you type it. Po Tato, Po Tate O. That's better.

So there has been a number of different pranks perpetrated by me in the past. When I was young I watched a dreadful movie with Fred Savage in it. He and some monsters would pull pranks and jokes on everyone. If Bill Murray regrets Garfield I'm sure Fred Savage regrets this one. As awful as it was I came up with some "A" list prank material. I personally liked the clothes peg on that pull-up shower thingy. (what the heck is that called?) Someone goes to turn the bathtub water on and BOOM! Sprayed in the head with the shower! I'm not sure why my dad automatically thought it was me. He does have a son, too.

Probably the one I remember most was the time I set a trap for Santa. I had serious doubts about this Santa character and was pretty sure he didn't exist. The year before I had found a gift in my parents closet and then later found the same gift under the tree. "From Santa". Uh huh. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, I'll sent a trap and catch you in the act" Do not underestimate the patience of a seven year old.  On Christmas Eve, once everyone had gone to bed I got to work. I strung skipping ropes across the upstairs hallway. I braced Christmas wrap tubing between my parents bedroom door frame. I topped it off by stringing packing tape, sticky side in, across their door as well. If anyone left that room during the night they would walk into a sticky mess. If only I had feathers!

Of course, if Santa did exist, no one would leave their room and risk ruining Christmas. If they did go out, well that would seal the truth that he didn't exist. They were leaving to sneaky sneak downstairs and put out the gifts! It was a perfect plan. Now I can only imagine the conundrum my parents faced when they eventually walked into that mess. If they came into my room to confront me they risked waking me up, proving my theory, and thereby ruining Christmas for everyone. OR, they could go on with their task and pretend it never happened. I couldn't possible get in trouble. I don't think they ever called me on that one; at least not when I was a kid anyways. I know they set the trap off, I was listening for it. I was totally OK with going along with the charade though, for the sake of my naive little brother.

I totally disproved all childhood holiday myths, sometimes painfully (re: Tooth Fairy), by the time I was in second or third grade. Except the Easter Bunny. I didn't bother with that one because it was obviously ludicrous.

All Kid's Shows Should Include Jon Hamm

There are a lot of things right with how wrong this story is. Or rather, this story is wrong in all the right ways. Or something like that. Now you're probably looking at the photo to your left (no your OTHER left) and thinking, "Why do you have a photo of Jon Hamm?" Well, let me tell you a story about how a grown woman's decent into SAHM-ness is now complete.

After lunch Miss A and I decided to watch a little PBS. We had already done a few crafts that day, so I didn't feel guilty thought she earned a little tv time. As long as it was educational, of course. As it turned out Martha Speaks was on, which is a cartoon that teaches new words and their meaning to preschoolers. The dog, Martha, eats some alphabet soup and can now speak. Hence the title. Sure why not? It's not like preschoolers are going to suddenly force Fido to eat can after can of alphabet soup, right? That's ridiculous; they'd never get the cans open.

So we're watching and I'm thinking, "Hey, the voice acting is pretty good! Actually, the writing is too. Weird." Kids shows are usually not known for their award winning writing and voice talents. Then I think to myself, "Hey, I recognize that voice! OMG, that's Jon Hamm!" Important to note, I actually say O.M.G. with a slight hint of valley girl. I'm not proud of this. So I watch the whole thing and it was awesome!




Seriously, is that not funny stuff? So that sad part of this is, and it's also the fantastic part, is I don't even watch Mad Men. I've never seen a single episode despite much goading from friends. I recognized his voice from Chris Hardwick's Nerdist podcast where Jon was a guest. He was super funny and geeky, and that's why I like him! So it's not "OMG you're Jon Hamm from Mad Men!" But, "OMG <insert valley voice> you're Jon Hamm from that podcast I heard once!" So yes, I got excited about a kid's show and started Googling the crap out of it. AND, I reaffirmed my geeky place in the world. Both of which were kinda wrong, but kinda right in all the best ways. Now if you'll excuse me I have another season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to watch.

Favorite Joke

I love jokes and it would be pretty hard to come up with just one favorite. Usually they involve funny voices, hand gestures and impersonations, so don't necessarily translate well written down. I remembered one from high school that I thought was pretty funny so I'll tell you that one.

A fighter pilot is flying over enemy lines when he is shot down and captured. He is badly injured and his captors are forced to amputate his leg.

He begs them, "Please! When you are flying over my home country during one of your raids, would you toss my leg out, so that a piece of me might rest at home?"

They agree to do this and when they next flew over his country they returned his leg. Later he had to have his other leg removed and he asked the same question of them. They agreed once again and returned his other leg to his home county. Yet again, the doctors discovered they had to amputate his arm! He asked them if they could do the same for his arm as his legs. This time they refused.

"Why not?" the pilot asked? "You have done this many times before!"

The commanding officer turned to him and replied, "We think you're trying to escape!"

And we all roll on the ground laughing! Well maybe not, but it could have been a lot worse!